in december of last year i finally started making efforts to use my phone less (though i lapsed in january), and finally picked up journaling in a way that stuck. like a lot of other people, i’ve kept diaries before, ones that i quickly gave up on a week in. this time, however, i’ve kept at it. now in may, i’ve finished two notebooks, one a ‘commonplace’ journal of sorts, more a book of quotes and notes on articles than anything, and a regular journal filled with reminders, lists, and diary-esque entries.
i’ve read a lot of articles and watched a lot of videos on journaling methods and i don’t use any of them, beyond the vague concept of a commonplace book. my journals are not organized nor do they have a table of contents, it’s a miracle i ever finished numbering the pages. they are page after page of blocks of text written with an extra fine point pen.
for my commonplace journal, i had already done a lot of the heavy lifting regarding finding things to put in it. on tumblr i’d already saved dozens of quotes well before this concept ever came to me, so once it did, all i had to do was sit and copy them down. from there, i would simply screenshot posts or quotes and save them to write down later, usually in one long sitting where i’d write until my hand cramped. as i went through this process, i began to notice reoccurring themes in the quotes the resonated with me which is one of the true motivators for continuing this process. some of the prevalent ideas include god, mothers, similarities between mothers and god, loneliness, art, and dog motifs among a few more nebulous concepts like things that i incorporate into my mental ideology. another big project i underwent as part of this journal was putting all of my highlights from the lonely city by olivia laing (one of my favorite books) into the journal. this took about a week total and filled nearly thirty pages. as i filled more pages, i was able to connect various quotes, in ways i wouldn’t have been able to otherwise, and come up with new ideas regarding them.
through this process i was inspired to write a new poem (which i shared in this substack post when i first began this whole process). upon completing this notebook, i then went through and highlighted quotes that stood out and sticky notes with thoughts i’ve had since writing these quotes down (the notes not very detailed and are relatively few but i plan to add more).
my commonplace book is relatively light on my commentary but that’s because i fill it out knowing it’s in communication with my primary journal. in my primary journal, if read an article that i enjoyed, i’ll take notes on it in my journal and put stand-out quotes into my commonplace journal. if i’m reading something and i find something that reminds me of another idea i’d written down, i’ll note it in my regular journal. when i’m not taking notes on other articles, i’ll take notes on the book i’m reading or the tv show or movie i’m watching or podcast i’m listening to (i want to apply this concept to music too, i just haven’t yet). i also make a lot of lists. like, a lot. every other page there’s a small list of books i want to read, or songs to check out, and so on. sometimes i go back and cross something off when i get around to it, but my plan is to compile everything now that i’ve finished the journal. i have a pretty shitty memory so i also write down things i need to do or would like to get around to eventually, so that i don’t forget. if i have an idea and don’t immediately write it down, i usually forget it pretty quickly and am then left with this itch in the back of my mind because i can’t remember what i forgot.
the rest of the journal is comprised of random diary entries. some of them take up a few lines interspersed with other notes, while others go on for pages depending on how i was feeling (a lot of the longer entries are from when i was feeling particularly awful in january). not every page is completely filled and some i go back to add more to frequently (such as my substack ideas page or my reading log. some of the pages i don’t go back to ever because they’ll only worsen my mood. one particularly dire entry goes on for 5 pages. even if i never go back to any of the lists i’ve written and never cross any of the items off, i feel a large sense of relief knowing, for example, every tv show i want to watch, is written on a piece of paper and not stored only in my mind where it’s liable to be forgotten at any time. having everything written down has relieved a lot of mental pressure that comes with trying not to forget every thought i have.
journaling, for me, is a way to remember everything i could ever possibly need to. it helps me piece ideas together and sort information for me to look back on later. i don’t complete daily prompts and some days i only fill two lines while others i fill several pages. i have no process and that works for me; i don’t write at a set time, i just keep my journal next to me. usually i sit at my desk, hunched over or with a back brace on, and i write as the urge comes to me.
it’s the most accomplished i’ve ever felt, finishing a notebook for the first time.
and a recent quote i commonplaced:
“I beg you, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps, then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” - Rainer Maria Rilke