hockey doesn't swallow
it will chew you up and spit you out
i’ve been thinking a lot about hockey recently (and not because of heated rivalry). i’ve been thinking about how it alienates everyone. hockey is a culture infamous for the prominence of straight, white, rich men in its sport from the fan base, to the players, to the management. this homogeny has created a culture where anyone outside of it has to fight to be included. but even the people inside of this ideal are victims to hockey, and by that i mean everything that makes up hockey culture.
pre-reading: we breed lions by rick westhead
it will never love you
is a phrase i’ve seen used by numerous hockey fans. it describes the one-way relationship many fans on the outside of hockey have with the game. you may love it but it will never love you back. it describes the constant betrayals, the way hockey uplifts rapists, homophobes, and racists and promotes a culture of demeaning others. so much of hockey is built on these terrible foundations and to be a fan of it, you have to ignore it, because what else are you supposed to do? no amount of outrage changes anything. you have to ignore your favorite players playing with rapists and going to the white house because if you started tallying up every controversy, there’d be no one left to watch. there might be games dedicated to pride, black heritage, or indigenous peoples, but there’s a performative element that says ‘see, we care’ with no real changes to back it up. but you have to appreciate the effort. and you are always aware you’re on the outskirts, never let in.
it doesn’t even love itself
for so many players, they’ve dedicated 90% of their lives to this sport, and hockey still doesn’t love them back. some players may get paid millions, but it comes with years of severe injuries and intense play that will affect their lives long after they retire. the health and safety of so many players is routinely disregarded in favor of getting back onto the ice as soon as possible. and that’s the main problem with hockey: everything outside the rink doesn’t matter. which could be considered a good thing: leave everything else behind and focus on the game. but that’s an impossible ideal. grudges, injuries, and biases will be carried onto the ice. to hockey, the players are nothing more than another tool that either wins games or needs to be whipped back into shape. and they better improve quick or risk being traded to who knows where. once the player stops winning, they lose all value and can be disregarded at the drop of a hat. and the players have accepted it, because they love hockey. but it always goes one-way. players can dedicate years to a team, form relationships and set down roots, but a trade is never off the table for anyone. even the people who are supposed to care, the trainers and the coaches and the commissioner, don’t. they simply care about maintenance as long as it benefits them. so many players suffer severe head injuries throughout their time playing leading, of course, to the development of CTE which has severe effects on the players for the rest of their lives. but despite all proof to the contrary, the nhl commissioner denies any connection between hockey and cte. hockey is a money-making entertainment machine and the players are simply the food fed to fuel it. and that’s just the passivity.
hockey actively harms the players involved, and not just regarding the injuries on the ice either. if you’ve read we breed lions, then you understand the depths of the cruelties imparted on the players. described in the book are all kinds of hazing and abuses encouraged by coaches and enacted by players against each other. sexual abuse is normalized. misogyny is ingrained. players punish each other for both being too good or too bad. it’s a culture with it’s own set of standards where physical violence is an everyday occurrence. there is no love in a sport that allows players to be sexually abused by their coaches. there is no love in a sport that allows players to sexually abuse each other. but they love hockey anyway. they dedicate their lives to it and accept the constant changes and violence that come with it. they may be on the inside but never for long.
love it anyway
you can love the way it’s trying to be better, for everything it means to you. love it in spite of it trying to push you away. force it to make room for you. don’t let it tell you that you can’t love it.
post-reading:
hockey canada sexual assault scandal
why i didn’t say anything by sheldon kennedy
longer careers in ice hockey are linked to a greater risk of CTE